Dialogues on Midwifery

Once I got pregnant I immediately watched The Business of Being Born. I think it should be a required viewing for every pregnant woman because the points it makes are incredible. I love the facts it shows on how beneficial having a child as naturally as possible is while acknowledging that some labors do need to be handled by a hospital because of complications. Plus watching it helped reaffirm my decision and prepare me for some of the negativity we've faced.

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Here are a few of the comments we've confronted and my responses to each:

"Aren't you scared of the pain? Don't you want to have the option of drugs?"
Labor is painful. Labor is going to be hell. But billions of woman have done it before me and pain is only temporary. The pain cannot kill me. So all the benefits that have lead me to this decision far outweigh the fear of pain. Running 26.2 miles is painful but we don't tell people they shouldn't do it. So why should we tell women they shouldn't do something that is completely natural and apart of life?

"What if something goes wrong?"
We aren't ignorant enough to assume life always goes as planned. Right now I am a low risk normal pregnancy. I see my midwife every 4 weeks and will see her more the closer to my due date I get. If at any point things change, so will the plan. If Minion is breached going into week 38, we high tail it up to Dallas to the leading hospital in the nation for delivering breached babies vaginally. If something goes wrong during labor, I'll get rushed the 5 miles down to the hospital for an emergency cesarean.

"Why not do the midwife thing for your second child after you already know what to expect?"
It's true that most the moms I know used a midwife after their first child, but my Mom didn't and she had no regrets. Plus the mothers I know who've done both, most often say the midwife route was their favorite. So why go through the other way when I know this is what I want to do now. It would be like going to college to be an engineer when I know I really plan to be a chef.

"You could die! This isn't the 1600's, you have the option of better medicine."
It's true, medicine has made incredible advances even in my lifetime. But current Obstetrics and Gynecology hasn't. Sure women aren't experiencing the three days of twilight sleeps anymore but 1/3 are having cesareans. Why has the female pelvis suddenly become unable to pass a baby's head through it only in the last few decades? Add in the fact that America ranks #34 in infant mortality far below European countries that feature more midwife births (Sweden ranks #4 and has 100% of births attended by midwives) and I'm not too confident in our current hospitals' abilities to safely deliver my baby. Last time I checked women and babies are still dying every day from labor complications in US hospitals. So the way I see it, there are no guarantees. So I might as well deliver the way I'm comfortable.

I'll step off my soapbox now but my biggest issue is that no woman wants to feel judged for the manner in which she chose to deliver her child. But for some reason, when you choose to go the unconventional route, it's game on and I am suppose to sit quietly and appreciate all the input from others. If they don't want to hear my defense then they should keep the discussion off the table ;)